United Nations Hoe

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just a quick mod against the big globalist brother before we get deep into the hustle so don't expect high quality from this one

we are officially living in the future and by the future i mean the absolute end of days where globalism won and the local population got outsourced to a completely different hemisphere while the united nations strongly condems dropping white phosphorus munitions on bad guys (which is not banned by international law) where as UN peacekeepers running actual international child trafficking rings under the cover of diplomatic immunity is totally fine and dandy (which is banned by literally every country on this planet) (see: Report of an independent review on ❤❤❤ual exploitation and abuse by international peacekeeping forces in the Central African Republic (A/71/99)) (also look up for Kathryn Bolkovac (Bosnia, 2000) and James Wasserstrom (Kosovo, 2007))

dear viewer, have you ever wanted to destroy the local ecosystem of a certain country in the name of peace? well you are in luck because the united nations figured out the strat for that years ago. all you gotta do is set up a base with broken pipes right next to a major river and BOOM! you just wiped out thousands of people with a disease they didn't even know existed while your legal team spends the next six years pretending it was a magic trick

(Violations of the Right to Effective Remedy: The UN's Responsibility for Cholera in Haiti)

educating the youth of the next generation is hard, you gotta keep an eye on some brat who can't tell the difference between a fork and a grenade so the UN found a solution to the problem: scrap the forks (literally, the metal from the forks will be used for rockets and the ricebags will be used as reinforcement for the underground tunnels they'll be spending time in when they'll become adults as israel bombs the shit out of them for the gazillionth time since they never learn their lesson) because grenades are 1. cheaper (literally free) than forks in that part of the world (free but that requires paperwork) and 2. it's far more easier to keep the local real estate values permanently depressed so that the international community has to keep renewing the palestinian's multi-billion dollar humanitarian subscription service until the heat death of the universe. the whole setup is structurally engineered to be a self-sustaining cycle where local un-contracted school teachers can double-dip as terorrists and when you get caught using international aid infrastructure to store ammunition, you just declare a humanitarian emergency, blame it on da joooos and wait for the next wire transfer to clear.

(UN probe finds 9 UNRWA employees ‘may have’ been involved in October 7 attack)

the whole un peacekeeping model is a masterpiece of sitting around. you can have thousands of fully armed soldiers stationed right on a border fence and their entire job is to just sit there and do........ nothing? what? wtf? hello???????? do something! there is literally gunfire and bombs going off right in front of your face! this is not a time to be AFK broooo come on shoot him bro, he's right there! someone votekick these ❤❤❤❤ing noobs from the server, i'm calling the server admin (big yahu).

(see: unifil mandate under un security council resolution 1701)

if you’ve ever looked at your hometown and wondered why the local corner store got replaced by a halal shish kebab shop, congratulations, you’ve officially been integrated into the UN's master plan for global demographics. the bureaucrats in the UN published a blueprint decades ago called "Replacement migration : is it a solution to declining and ageing populations?" because they crunched the numbers and realized western countries weren't producing enough tax-paying units to fund their massive state pensions so their brilliant solution was to just import millions of people from entirely different cultures to balance the spreadsheets. the strategy is completely seamless too. instead of letting individual countries decide who gets to cross their borders based on actual laws, security or cultural cohesion, the un rolls out a massive "global compact" to completely standardize the process. they basically try to reframe moving into someone else's country as a fundamental human right while completely ignoring the absolute strain it puts on local housing, healthcare and public safety. (un general assembly resolution 73/195, global compact for safe, orderly and regular migration)

if you’ve ever wondered why the international community functions like a broken discord server with a bunch of retarded moderators who can't agree on shit, just take a look at the un security council's veto setup. the entire system is basically a lobby where five permanent members have an infinite cancel button. you can get 14 countries to completely agree on a resolution to stop an active war zone but then one guy taps his veto macro because it doesn't align with his specific clan's interests and the entire vote instantly gets bricked not that it matters anyway because who's gonna stop said war from happening anyway? the UN peacekeeping force? LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

the absolute peak comedy of this entire setup is when the security council gets completely deadlocked by a veto, so the un switches to its ultimate coping mechanism: issuing a "strong condemnation" it is literally the diplomatic equivalent of a moderator typing "guys stop spamming the server or else!!!!!" while the entire discord server is being actively griefed and burned to the ground and automod is turned off. the general assembly can gather hundreds of countries to pass symbolic resolutions demanding a ceasefire but because those votes carry zero actual legal enforcement power under the un charter, everyone just reads the strongly-worded letter, laugh and go back to bombing the shit out of everything. it's a multi-million dollar theater production where the main show is basically just thoughts and prayers printed on a piece of paper.

really when you think about it, antónio guterres is just a glorified community manager of the world with a secret humiliation fetish that he tries to project onto other parts of the world (which is a must-have non-negotiable requirement if you want to become the Secretary-General of the United Nations) who gets completely clowned on (rightfully so) and ignored by everyone every time a major conflict breaks out. he just sits there hosting debates about reforming the system while the superpowers use their veto to guarantee absolute impunity (and i fully support the united states of america abusing their veto powers)

my absolute favorite part of the un's middle eastern incident happened in the middle of tel aviv on HaYarkon Street (big shoutout to Shlomo who invited me there, i keep telling you that i'm not interesting in visiting your gay bar). these dudes are supposed to be negotiating world peace or whatever but instead someone filmed a giant white UN suv rolling down the main street while a lady in a red dress was literally dry humping a un official in the back seat in a very well-lit street with the windows rolled down for all to see. these guys were making a statement and it's "lmao ❤❤❤❤❤ we got diplomatic immunity and all you'll get from us is strong condemnation about the situation" (see: UN suspends 2 for suspected involvement in video showing ❤❤❤ act in Tel Aviv)

thank you the united nations for being absolutely useless, it's thanks to you that my stock portfolio is UP and the investment in lockheed martin paid off (not financial advice)

accept the borderless future old man, it's gonna get a lot worse this decade